"Today is history. Today will be remembered. Years from now the young will ask with wonder about this day. Today is history and you are part of it. Six hundred years ago when elsewhere they were footing the blame for the Black Death, Casimir the Great - so called - told the Jews they could come to Krakow. They came. They trundled their belongings into the city. They settled. They took hold. They prospered in business, science, education, the arts. With nothing they came and with nothing they flourished. For six centuries there has been a Jewish Krakow. By this evening those six centuries will be a rumor. They never happened. Today is history." --Amon Goeth, Schindler's List.
Just as such words exemplify the hatred of those who would have seen the Jews eliminated, not only from Poland, but from the Human Race, words of hatred today undermine humanity. Our words are so shaping, even the seemingly smallest of things. This issue of Words is one that has greatly affected me, name calling was something I endured not only in elementary school, but through Jr. High and High School, and even from within my own home. I am still recognizing the impact of negative messages I heard in my childhood, and the full extent to which my thinking has been shaped.
We have so many derogatory names for people these days--labels, stereotypes, comments made off-hand, name calling between friends. But If we were to consider the impact our words have, for just a moment, nothing more need be done than to write down a list of these names, look up what they mean, and think, for one second, what it might mean to someone to be referred to as that. Things I have been called, which to some degree I have been or am: Liar, a Bastard kid, Slow, Weird. Things I have been called and am NOT: Stupid, a Lesbian, Deformed, a Bitch, a Mistake, a Waste of Time.... These words have shaped me in some way, sure there are others, many I remember, but these stand out, and have carried meaning for some reason. My point is this: Words of a hateful nature destroy, they're nothing but destructive. I don't care if its "joking", there is no "love-language" of tearing one another down. Things that maybe true, or not, don't need to be said if they're hateful. What are we to gain from putting others down?
...ok, I'll get of my soap box, but ya.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Know thy self
Whether it be a struggle with body-image, pornography, recovering from sexual-assault, or living a sexual promiscuous lifestyle, moral consequences are very great and often greatly sacrificed. For myself, (I shared about being caught in a friendship where she indulged in reading sex-journals online) my moral struggle was such that I literally could not live with myself; my first suicide attempt was at a friends house while she was online—she never knew, and in her own words never cared. While working at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, many of the young girls who came for counseling expressed they had “had enough” and desired to be “treated better”—an expression of moral conflict within themselves and of their search for self-worth.
This recognition takes many forms, be it after months controlling her dietary intake, moving from sexual partner to another, or entertaining ideas of self-mutilation, we all come to a realization that this is NOT as it's meant to be--with God's grace, we can recognize our worth in His eyes, and can come to know ourselves, for who He created us to be.
This recognition takes many forms, be it after months controlling her dietary intake, moving from sexual partner to another, or entertaining ideas of self-mutilation, we all come to a realization that this is NOT as it's meant to be--with God's grace, we can recognize our worth in His eyes, and can come to know ourselves, for who He created us to be.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Shaken not Stirred
Psssst. Hey you. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Who am I? Well, I'm your weary liver. I'm here to win friends and influence...your drinking habits. Sometimes, you just have to slow down on all the crazy concoctions out there, bro. Rest up, and drink some juices and club soda. It's okay to be over twenty-one and ask for a Shirley Temple. Say it with me, "Shirley Temple." Non-alcoholic drinks aren't half bad. Give them a try. I'll thank you in the morning (Parker, 1000 Best bartender's recipes, 2005).
Alcohol has been in my life forever. To varying degrees and in different forms within different spheres, but always present. My mother drinks a glass of wine before bed or has an occasional drink with dinner, my father was once a Maitre d' but does not himself drink. Appreciation for wine was instilled in me, and drinking was viewed as acceptable--I think I had my first taste at 11.
It was not until after high school when drinking became a social norm. Now, it was sit back and have a hard lemonade, or JD in Coke, or Bailey's OTR. Other social pressures existed, such as smoking--something I swore to myself I'd never do yet have done. Sure, I've never had a cigarette, but I've smoked hookah, cigars, cloves and can't say I dislike them--but I know they are unhealthy, and more so because I have a high propensity for addiction. Already I've used the excuse of an "occasion" for what could be considered binge drinking. For males that's 5-6 drinks, females 4-5...hum...definitely that was binge drinking.
I've been drunk dialed, the "DD", and even been part of conversations that consisted of nothing for than repeating the same joke and laughing--loudly. But I don't like NOT being in control, so by determination I have yet to be drunk--and I have no intention to ever be so. But I have come close, too close for comfort, and closer than I'd readily admit. I don't find drinking necessary, although, I'd like for it to be less of a pleasure--but I call that expensive taste;) --I still believe that in moderation and the appropriate setting, alcohol is acceptable, healthy, and can be well appreciated. I do not consider college to be an appropriate setting...a tempting one, but not acceptable..certainly the most accessible, and potentially hazardous. Compromise--that's a killer...been there, done that. Don't care to again.
Alcohol has been in my life forever. To varying degrees and in different forms within different spheres, but always present. My mother drinks a glass of wine before bed or has an occasional drink with dinner, my father was once a Maitre d' but does not himself drink. Appreciation for wine was instilled in me, and drinking was viewed as acceptable--I think I had my first taste at 11.
It was not until after high school when drinking became a social norm. Now, it was sit back and have a hard lemonade, or JD in Coke, or Bailey's OTR. Other social pressures existed, such as smoking--something I swore to myself I'd never do yet have done. Sure, I've never had a cigarette, but I've smoked hookah, cigars, cloves and can't say I dislike them--but I know they are unhealthy, and more so because I have a high propensity for addiction. Already I've used the excuse of an "occasion" for what could be considered binge drinking. For males that's 5-6 drinks, females 4-5...hum...definitely that was binge drinking.
I've been drunk dialed, the "DD", and even been part of conversations that consisted of nothing for than repeating the same joke and laughing--loudly. But I don't like NOT being in control, so by determination I have yet to be drunk--and I have no intention to ever be so. But I have come close, too close for comfort, and closer than I'd readily admit. I don't find drinking necessary, although, I'd like for it to be less of a pleasure--but I call that expensive taste;) --I still believe that in moderation and the appropriate setting, alcohol is acceptable, healthy, and can be well appreciated. I do not consider college to be an appropriate setting...a tempting one, but not acceptable..certainly the most accessible, and potentially hazardous. Compromise--that's a killer...been there, done that. Don't care to again.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Pro's and Con's
To everything there are benefits and sacrifices, positives and negatives at the expenses of something else, the area of Strengths is no exception. Personality, gifts, abilities are each greatly affected by these innate aptitudes--and to varying degrees shape who we are.
Individualization enables me to see within people their uniqueness, to know what kind of person they are, appreciate them for their own talents and dreams. My passion for people goes beyond what they do and extend to who they are, the details...I get to know them, I want to know them. I develop strong and loyal relationships, but this tends to place me in a venerable position--not everyone is in it for the long-haul. Two weaknesses of Individualization for me are 1) along the lines of knowing people, and being too categorical--in thinking I have all people figured out solely because I can generally because I have good instinct. And 2) comparison; in the past I would very easily compare myself to others and their talents, wondering why I couldn't be as good as they at this or the other, hindering myself and not enabling myself to encourage them.
Developer, for me, is in close connection with individualization: in seeing their uniqueness I want to help them succeed--almost hand in hand. People ask what God is calling me to do: I'm called to help find healing though counseling. I care so much about those living in pain, physical, emotional--whatever the case maybe. The greatest disadvantage for this is obvious: caring TOO much, overwhelming myself, or putting my own needs aside for the sake of others. My mother says: you cannot help anyone if you do not first take care of yourself--over-exertion of emotion is the number one cause of burn-out among Counselors, the profession with the highest suicide rate...kinda ironic.
Connectivity--I don't really know the application of this Strength outside of my Faith. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "For ALL things work together for the good of those who love Jesus Christ." My hope in what has been at times an otherwise dark and confusing place. A negative aspect is my tendency to hold onto things, whether as a "pack-rat" or just not being able to let things go emotionally, that is a long process for me--because I'm affected deeply.
Communicator: I have a love hate relationship with this Strength. Because communication is vital to any relationship, and because relationships are so vastly important to me, and communication being one of my strengths...this is kid of a big deal for me! that said: while i AM a good communicator, I tend to over state myself--my greatest weakness. People feel criticized or that I'm making a "big deal" of something because I have to talk it out (verbal processing is how I maintain my sanity--or what's left of it).
Belief ties back into the Connectivity, with my Faith being a huge factor in my life...but here even more so is the determination I find to push through opposition. because I have the foundation and the steadfast belief that what I trust is Truth and Right I can take one step forward at a time. Also, this enables me to accept others for who they are without judgment--I know I won't be swayed. on the flip-side some see that has hard-nosed, stuck-in-your-ways, and small-minded...but I'd rather be unpopular than floundering.
And as I have claimed Arranger, I'd have to say the greatest thing about it is color-coding...j/k. I love to find order and the most effective way to do things, make other people's beds, clean their kitchens, and I plan plan plan...oh, but do I ever procrastinate. If I've thought something through, it's as if I'm half done--and therein lies my greatest downfall. I have yet to learn to manage my time well. With the Strength of Arranger I have that ability, I need to learn to apply it. My goal this semester is to do that--sticking to my outlines, and actually doing them before deadlines are breathing down my neck (or pass me by--oops).
Individualization enables me to see within people their uniqueness, to know what kind of person they are, appreciate them for their own talents and dreams. My passion for people goes beyond what they do and extend to who they are, the details...I get to know them, I want to know them. I develop strong and loyal relationships, but this tends to place me in a venerable position--not everyone is in it for the long-haul. Two weaknesses of Individualization for me are 1) along the lines of knowing people, and being too categorical--in thinking I have all people figured out solely because I can generally because I have good instinct. And 2) comparison; in the past I would very easily compare myself to others and their talents, wondering why I couldn't be as good as they at this or the other, hindering myself and not enabling myself to encourage them.
Developer, for me, is in close connection with individualization: in seeing their uniqueness I want to help them succeed--almost hand in hand. People ask what God is calling me to do: I'm called to help find healing though counseling. I care so much about those living in pain, physical, emotional--whatever the case maybe. The greatest disadvantage for this is obvious: caring TOO much, overwhelming myself, or putting my own needs aside for the sake of others. My mother says: you cannot help anyone if you do not first take care of yourself--over-exertion of emotion is the number one cause of burn-out among Counselors, the profession with the highest suicide rate...kinda ironic.
Connectivity--I don't really know the application of this Strength outside of my Faith. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "For ALL things work together for the good of those who love Jesus Christ." My hope in what has been at times an otherwise dark and confusing place. A negative aspect is my tendency to hold onto things, whether as a "pack-rat" or just not being able to let things go emotionally, that is a long process for me--because I'm affected deeply.
Communicator: I have a love hate relationship with this Strength. Because communication is vital to any relationship, and because relationships are so vastly important to me, and communication being one of my strengths...this is kid of a big deal for me! that said: while i AM a good communicator, I tend to over state myself--my greatest weakness. People feel criticized or that I'm making a "big deal" of something because I have to talk it out (verbal processing is how I maintain my sanity--or what's left of it).
Belief ties back into the Connectivity, with my Faith being a huge factor in my life...but here even more so is the determination I find to push through opposition. because I have the foundation and the steadfast belief that what I trust is Truth and Right I can take one step forward at a time. Also, this enables me to accept others for who they are without judgment--I know I won't be swayed. on the flip-side some see that has hard-nosed, stuck-in-your-ways, and small-minded...but I'd rather be unpopular than floundering.
And as I have claimed Arranger, I'd have to say the greatest thing about it is color-coding...j/k. I love to find order and the most effective way to do things, make other people's beds, clean their kitchens, and I plan plan plan...oh, but do I ever procrastinate. If I've thought something through, it's as if I'm half done--and therein lies my greatest downfall. I have yet to learn to manage my time well. With the Strength of Arranger I have that ability, I need to learn to apply it. My goal this semester is to do that--sticking to my outlines, and actually doing them before deadlines are breathing down my neck (or pass me by--oops).
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